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  • Remove ads – support me on Patreon

    God, what a boring blog post this will be. Hold my hand and we’ll get through it, and I’ll aim to keep it as short and sweet as possible. Want to remove ads from my site? Here’s how… I really want to make more audio porn, not just of my own work but with fabulous The post Remove ads – support me on Patreon appeared first on Girl on the Net.

  • Are you my next Dildo Butler?

    I am seeking a conscientious, sex-positive individual to fill the role of Dildo Butler. This is a highly unique live-out position that requires professionalism, discretion, and an exceptionally open-minded attitude. To be successful in this role you must, above all, possess a respectful demeanor that does not waver in the presence of sexual activity. If you can't watch porn with a friend without feeling embarrassed, this is not the job for you. The role of Dildo Butler is a multi-faceted personal assistant type position that blends elements of hospitality with administrative and creative work. It requires close interaction with a person who is masturbating. Applicants should be organized, meticulous, and able to handle sensitive situations with maturity and a sense of humor. You must have impeccable character references as well as extensive knowledge of the sex toy industry. This is a multi-cat household. JOB RESPONSIBILITIES: General maintenance of my sex toy collection, including regular charging, cleaning, and organizingOverseeing inventory of lubricant and home office supplies, re-stocking as neededProofreading blog posts and scheduling social media promotionAssisting with photoshoots, including corralling my cats Light housekeeping (sweeping, dusting, cleaning my keyboard) and occasional errandsMiscellaneous administrative tasks, such as answering emails and updating blog postsSocial media monitoring in the event of having gone "viral"Attending masturbation sessions (see below)As Dildo Butler, you will be responsible for working all non-recreational masturbation sessions, which will be scheduled in advance. During a masturbation session, you will be asked to reside in another room until your assistance is required. Shifts will range from 1-4 hours. No two masturbation sessions will be the same, so adaptability is a must. During your shift, you may be called upon to perform any of the following duties: Retrieving, charging, or cleaning a specific sex toyCat wrangling (you will be supplied with laser pointer and other cat entertainment) Refilling my lube dispenserStanding by and holding a buzzing vibrator as I compare it directly to another toyPreparing a light snack (e.g. carrots and ranch, cheese and crackers, Goldfish)Ordering take-out to be delivered post-sessionOther small unanticipated tasks (bringing my headphones, refilling my water bottle, etc)Respectfully offering a choice: the Splendid Piph or BS Wild Stripes. MASTURBATING WHILE ON THE CLOCK IS EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN. Jacking off is my job, not yours. As Dildo Butler, you will undoubtedly be exposed to pornography, both visual and auditory. You will be expected to separate erotic sounds and objects from physical arousal; please do not apply if you do not believe this to be possible. Our relationship should be one of employer and employee, and therefore must remain strictly professional at all times. Additionally, after each masturbation session, you will be responsible for: Wine serviceTaking dictation of orally delivered observations during a debriefing periodServing take-out, if applicable, that has been appropriately heatedCollecting used sex toys and washing them thoroughlyLaundering soiled towels, sheets, and blanketsReturning dry sex toys to their correct drawers, or charging them Applicants should be organized, meticulous, and able to handle sensitive situations with maturity and a sense of humor. No two masturbation sessions will be the same, so adaptability is a must. QUALIFICATIONS: Encyclopedic knowledge of the sex toy industryExceptional awareness of sex toy names, manufacturers, types, and materialsAbility to differentiate between chargers from various manufacturersUnderstanding of which vibrators are fully waterproofStrong familiarity with my blog and my collection specificallyOutstanding verbal and written communication, with a sharp attention to detailEase and maturity around nudity, masturbation, and pornographyComfort interacting with human liquids, including ejaculation and menstrual bloodExperience properly and thoroughly cleaning a wide variety of sex toy materials and typesAbility to handle sensitive situations with care and a sense of humor Proficiency with technology (WordPress, social media platforms, spreadsheets)Typing speed of at least 75 WPM Basic cooking skillsThe following are not requirements, but can increase your chances of being hired: Adult industry experienceFeline handling skillsFormal training in writing, photography, or social media marketingKnack for recommending wine and porn to suit specific tastesBackground in stenography An Australian accentApplicants must be 21 years of age or older. Flexible scheduling with availability to work weekends on occasion. Compensation: $25/hour DOE. Relocation fees covered for the right applicant. Formal wear not required but appreciated. DO NOT APPLY TO THIS POSITION IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND PORNOGRAPHY OR SEX TOYS. Apply now Do you have the fortitude to excel in the role of Dildo Butler? Please submit your application in the comments section below by answering the following initial interview questions: Given the job requirements, why are you an excellent fit for this position?Do you consider yourself a cat person? Tell me about a time you successfully wrangled a cat.Down time is a part of this job. How will you occupy yourself while I masturbate?What organizational strategies would you implement in my office? In which drawer would you file away the Jimmyjane Intro 2? The Fun Factory Volta? I will be reviewing applications in the coming months and will be in touch with stand-out applicants to schedule video interviews.

  • Protected: Looking at a Title Year

    There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

  • Rest Is Important, You’re Right It Isn’t Fair, and Other Things I Need To Hear Right Now

    Things I need to hear: It doesn’t matter if you’re not being productive, and also, it does. It is okay...

  • Some Notes That May Turn Into A Sex Manifesto

    Because the boy & I have been together for 9 years, and because we are also adults with jobs and...

Best Relationship Blog

Relationships will always need to be fixed, even when you think nothing is wrong.
  • Isolation Life

    Something really interesting happens when you’re forced to slow down.  One thing, you get creative.  Boredom can also stoke humor. As the new social distancing way of life rolls into the third week, I’m doing things differently like taking my time doing the dishes.  Items on the bottom of my “I’d like to do that

  • It’s Time to Talk About the Grief

    It’s time to talk about an uncomfortable topic. Grief. Grief is so uncomfortable that many struggle to know what to say to someone experiencing the grief of a sudden, soul-crushing loss.  Grief can also sneak up on you.  The unfolding coronavirus pandemic is a set-up for this as people can initially be more aware of

  • Love is Blind: Here’s How to Date During the Coronavirus

    As the Netflix show (and the old saying) goes, love is blind!  Which means that you can find true love during the coronavirus outbreak– in spite of all its hysteria and social distancing.  And just maybe, because of it. Dating is doing well! There has been no change in the number of people downloading dating… The post Love is Blind: Here’s How to Date During the Coronavirus appeared first on Love in 90 Days.Love in 90 Days - Dating Tips, Relationship Advice

  • An Open Letter to My Readers

    Dear LoveAndLifeToolbox.com Readers ❤️, These are challenging times.  Most of you have had to redefine what’s “normal” as we practice social isolation to do our part to avoid the spread of COVID-19 / novel coronavirus.  Some of you are home with your partners and kids, challenged to be teachers as your children continue their schooling

  • Social Distancing: How to Keep Connected and Upbeat

    (This page is regularly updated with revised content, additional tips/resources.) March 30, 2020 In a time when “social distancing” to “flatten the curve” has literally hijacked life as we used to know it, it’s critical for our overall health (physical, emotional and relational) to stay upbeat whenever possible for what could be a long haul. 

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